In the days following Budd’s death I had to think a lot about what I’d say at his memorial service. Fact is, Budd was a really good guy. Fact is also that we had had some difficult years. I have been a part of services where the deceased should have been bequeathed sainthood judging from … More Jar of Rocks

Years ago Budd and I were in a really rough season of marriage. We were disconnected, unhappy, blame-ridden and unforgiving. It was a mess. We tried a bit of counseling but were unable to break free from very destructive patterns. Through a recommendation from a well respected friend we enrolled in a program at a … More Field of Weeds

A woman stands watching skaters at an indoor skating rink in a mall. She approaches the skating rink hesitantly. There are only a few people on the ice. Nothing in her appearance would imply she belongs here. She looks homeless, wrapped in several layers of clothing and wearing heavy boots. She carries several over-stuffed bags … More The Skater

Families: Fabulous. Messy. Beautiful. Painful. I have three sisters. We are close and enjoy being together when we can, as we are spread from coast to coast. We tell stories (that grow with the re-telling) and we laugh a lot. Mom is always surprised by the stories that apparently she wasn’t aware of at the … More Merry-Go-Round

My son Matt learned to drive through a drivers training program at school.  He was a good driver….for a 16 year old. A few months after Matt got his license, Budd decided to teach him to drive a standard transmission – his prized ’66 Volkswagen. So off went my husband and my son….a beautiful bonding … More Sort the Laundry

A young woman, weak and very ill, sat on the steps of the Kenyan hospital. Another young woman, an American hospice director, sat down beside her. “What can I do for you?” she asked. “French fries,” the woman said, “I’d like some French fries.” The young hospice director is a dear friend of mine. Juli … More Sacred French Fries

My favorite earrings are solitary pearls that my husband bought me years ago in Hawaii. I’m not one who matches my earrings to my clothes every day…I don’t have the patience. I wear my pearls 99% of the time. They are simple and beautiful…every day. Pearls are formed when a grain of sand or other … More A Pearl

2020 has hit with a bang. We are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, racial violence and inequity is in the news daily, it’s a volatile election year and the quarantine has scrambled our lives almost beyond recognition. How do we respond? More importantly, how do we survive? In a conversation with a dear … More What are you looking at?

Forgiveness is a challenge (understatement of the year). During a particular season of my life where I was deeply struggling with events in my past, I realized how the brokenness of my childhood caused me to carry into adulthood a lot of shame, distrust and bitterness…not great qualities on which to build a healthy and … More Forgiveness

An entry from my personal journal on July 11, 2010: A day shrouded in fog…that’s what it feels like today.  Buddy died yesterday and today I have to talk with the mortuary people and decide what to do with his body…talk with Pic about doing a memorial service…it’s a day that I cannot see what … More Fog